Have I failed?

It’s been two months since I posted and if I’m completely honest nearly two months since I did any exercise other than walking.  I feel like crap, look rough as, everything hurts and I’m exhausted.

This isn’t why I wasn’t working out – this is as a result of not working out.

No excuses, life just got in the way.  I got in my own way.

The scales haven’t changed much, I’m only 2lbs up but I wobble and my belt is a notch looser.  I’ve let myself down.

But have I failed?  Well no I haven’t.  I’ve stalled, I’ve faltered, I’ve gone off piste.  But it’s not going to lead me to throw it all await – I’ve achieved and improved and just need to get back on it.

I’m finding restarting really hard – you see I am tired, I am sore and I am exhausted and the way to fix that is to work better, sleep better and eat better.  The hurdle to get back at it is the same thing that will improve by getting back to the gym.  I know this but my mind is stalling.

It’s time though.  First step (or first restarting step). No more excuses.  The time is now.


Move Your Frame – trying something new



The new year hasn’t really kicked in well for me, I have been to the gym but work, colds, strained muscles and a general ennui has mean that I hadn’t picked up the new year where I left the last.

I have achieved new PBs on Deadlift (70kg) and Leg Press (60kg) but have not been back to boxing and haven’t quite shifted the Lbs gained over Christmas.  I’ve also bought myself some lifting shoes – though haven’t got round to using them yet!

So it was time to do something different, I’d read about Move Your Frame (MYF) in various places and followed them in Instagram but had thought it was a  bit too trendy for me – the pictures on their website are all sleek ponytail, eyeliner and lip gloss.  But I decided to take my head out of my arse and stop being afraid.

I’d been speak to my friend (the_llb) about Reformer Pilates and noted that MYF did a Basics class by way of introduction on a Sunday morning so I decided to give it a go.  I was waitlisted initially so thought as I had taken the leap to do something I would book in to Frame Lift instead.  I rocked up at 10am for the 10.15 class, their computer system was down so I couldn’t book in and had no idea where things were or how it all worked.  Basically there are two studios, a personal training area and the reformer pilates room in the Kings Cross branch, as well as a yoga studio round the corner I believe.  There’s a small cafe and waiting areas, some lockers and a changing room.  The team were welcoming despite the computer chaos but too distracted to show me around or tell me how things worked.  It was fine – some of the other people waiting for the class helped me out.

Oh I forgot – in the meantime someone had pulled out of the pilates class at 11 so I could have a space if I wanted……so Lift at 10.15 and Reformer at 11……maybe not my best idea ever but hey why not.

So lift is high energy, body pump type class.  The music is good, is pacey and the 45 minutes flew by.  My triceps need some serious work! I worked up a sweat and at the end of the class hot footed it over to the other side of the studio for Reformer.

What an amazing stretch after a lift class that was!  I had no idea what to expect – I had never done pilates before and it’s been a while since my last Yoga class so I wasn’t sure how I would do.  I did ok, just ok.  It requires control and really using your core.  Neither of which I have in abundance but I enjoyed it and the teacher (Corrine) was great.  She takes time to explain what we do, how the equipment supports us, why we do it and how it will help us with other fitness activity.

Exhausted but elated I headed home (via a little Nike store trip) then out with the boy and the dog for a lovely roast.  I rolled out my legs and back that evening but overall felt good.  The next day my stomach was properly sore and that lasted a few days but my legs and arms felt good.

Later, when I was chatting with lovely FB on Sunday night and we decided we needed to get together in the week instead of just going for food and tequila (we have history) she agreed to accompany me to a Box Fit class at MYF at 7pm that Wednesday followed by a meal at the Grain Store in Granary Square.

Let’s start with it was brilliant – hard work, sweaty and fun.  As we were heading out for supper afterwards we both used the facilities, the showers are good with good products provided, dryers and brushes as well as an brilliant 90s R&B soundtrack (I digress….).  The class was a mix of aerobics and punching.   I struggled a little with the punching (one does not jab with ones right hand) but boy did we sweat…….we were both so red afterwards that I couldn’t resist sharing a puce pic (here on instagram).  Despite not being able to complete all the moves (damn you triceps) and being a hot sweaty mess by the end I really did enjoy it.

So much so that I am just back from my second two session Sunday with MYF – lift and reformer again today.  To be honest I didn’t enjoy it – I wasn’t good today, found it hard and my coordination was off but I did it.  I worked and didn’t quit/give up.  It was a different teacher for Lift and was good again I just wasn’t!

We’re off to Rome next weekend of the 6 nations so no classes for me but I will definitely be back to try some different class and do more of the same.  I may have been both the oldest and biggest person there but I didn’t feel awkward or uncomfortable – just really made to work.

Move Your Frame classes cost between £12- £20 per class but there are deals and packages.  They run classes 7 days a week and have sites in Kings Cross, Shoreditch, Victoria and Queens Park.  You can hire a towel there and they have a small shop with some great exercise and beauty products. Find out more on their website www.moveyourframe.com 


Hello New Year

I’m not one for resolutions (be nice to stupid people doesn’t really count anyway). But I do love a target. This year was about getting off my arse, getting my weight down some way and changing the way I I’ve. I’ve achieved that and am really pleased with where I am. There have been some major highs and some frustrating lows. 

So this isn’t a new year new start post….. it’s a public declaration of what I would like to achieve this year. For some of you reading this my goals may seem a bit naff but for this former couch surfer these are massive so here we go:

Happy New Year to you – let’s get this shit done. 


But haven’t we been here before?

So I’m back at the gym and had been doing ok food wise but then I slipped. There was wine, takeaway and beer. A pasty and a hot dog and beer out of plastic cups. 

Then there was a trip to the Om Yoga show where I talked to loads of great people about how yoga and the associated food, lifestyle etc was good for you. 

And I had this sense of de ja vu. You see I’ve been here before. Listened to all the options and suggestions. Bought the book, worn the tshirt and signed up to the inspirational emails and marketing. 

But here I am again. Self sabotaging. Fitzpatrick is really trying so hard to help me – working his way through the Lean in 15 cook books, making me chicken and rice and veggies for lunch – but then Sunday comes and I suggest we stop off for tacos ok the way home and one margarita leads to 4 then 2 G&Ts and well I’m undoing all that good work again. 

It’s interesting to step back and look at it. I have this ‘feck it’ approach. Life’s too short to not do/eat/drink what you want. But then I’m disappointed in myself for not sticking with it. 

I turn 44 next Monday. I’m in a much better place that I was this time last year. I’m lighter, stronger, a non smoker and making some real progress. But in order to get to where I want to be there has to be a bit more sacrifice I think. 

Our Gym is now open 24 hours a day so this morning we were up at 5 (which hurt a bit after the excess of yesterday) and in the weight room by 5.30. It’s lovely and empty and means that being busy at work is no longer an excuse (darn it!). I only managed 3 visit last week as I pushed myself a bit hard on leg day but back at it this week. 

Just need to (try) and stop with the two steps forward one step back. 



Back on track

So two weeks after being back from holiday we are fully back on track.  I’m back into boxing training and had a great session this morning with Ian really focusing on my technique. I’m always worn out afterwards and know I e had a proper workout but also elated and energised!

I’m also back weightlifting and looking to push myself and up my weights where I can. It’s tough as the DOMS are hard to work through and combine with boxing training and working but it’ll be worth it. 

So holiday weight has gone and now we’re back looking at what we’re eating and drinking. Fitzpatrick is working his way through the Lean in 15 cookbooks and I’m getting some great meals, including this one earlier this week which was delicious fresh and for lunch the next day:

I’m lucky to be working at Canary Wharf where we have a Protein Haus so after boxing I’m able to get a proper protein fix without having to cart around too much stuff. Their coffee pump and whey pats fill me up and are tasty to boot:

More expensive than taking my own but super convenient. 

This week I’ve upped my suppliments too, I had a trial of the Vitl nutrition pack and was impressed. It’s the perfect lazy girlway to get my  vitamins and nutrients and even come in a  daily pack!  I’m hoping this, along with the food and exercise will help me to avoid too make cold and lurgies this winter- we’ll see. 

Looking forward to heading up to the mind and body show and the Om Yoga show at Ally Pally this weekend – always good to get new ideas. 

I really need to up my fitness game and get my weight going down again so am looking at F45 as an option but in all honesty I’m a bit scared and intimidated. I know that’s all about me and my head but it’s something I’m going to have to deal with. 

The nights are drawing in so it’s tempting to settle in front it the TV with a cuppa and a blanket but that’s not going to get me where I want to be. 

Time to find some motivation me thinks!



60 miles in 3 days – and what now?

IMG_2008It’s over 6 weeks since I walked 60 miles in 3 days and I still can’t quite believe I did it.  I am so proud of what we achieved in the Twin Cities and know that the experience has changed me.

It was so inspiring walking with others, both survivors and those touched by breast cancer as well as those of us who walk because we must.


The whole trip was brilliant and it was amazing to catch up with my friends Kym and Joanne again, having not seen them in person for 5 years.  The people in our team were brilliant, friends for life I know.  I feel honoured to have spent my time with them – the laughter, the tears, the dancing, the 60 mile buffet and the brilliant medical volunteers and crew who got us all round in one piece.

At times I didn’t think I would finish (the end of day two where we walked nearly 25 miles was a particularly tough one……) but these brilliant women kept me going and I hope in some way I helped them


So now what?  I am quite envious of the ladies taking part in and supporting the Philadelphia 3 day in a few weeks, and continuing to support and cheer for the amazing Carol Zimmer who is walking all 7 cities this year – yep 420 miles!  She’s on target to raise $16,100 so if you fancy helping her via this link I know she will be tickled pink!  I wish I was going to be in Philly to either walk or crew and today found myself hovering over the Register button for next years walk in San Diego in November……..

But for now I need to get back to the gym, I’ve been back boxing but then went on the best holiday ever for just over two weeks to Nashville, Kansas City and LA so haven’t been to the gym or worked out much at all.  Funnily my weight hasn’t changed, I put on a few lbs on holiday but those have dropped off again this week so despite not exercising for 6 weeks really I haven’t gone backwards…..just goes to show I clearly wasn’t working hard enough.  So back on it tomorrow, back to the gym, back to the weights and in training for a 5k and a 10k run…….might have left that a bit late but I’m up for the challenge.

I’ll never forget my first three day and want to thank you for your support – not just for the sponsorship but also for the amazing camp mail I received (more tears), the support on line and in person and the ongoing amazing unwavering love and support from Fitzpatrick.  Phew.







Plateau’s and frustration


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I’m so frustrated – I have hardly lost a lb in 2 months.  I’m tracking what I eat and exercising at least 4 times per week but nothing, nada, zilch.  AND ITS TOUGH.  I know this happens, and I know it happens to a lot of people but when you are nearly 15 stone and want to be under 12 it’s really hard.

I may have had a little breakdown at the gym last week (thankfully Fitzpatrick was there to sort me out)  there were tears and snot and a few ‘it’s just not fair’.  Seriously I am working so hard, I’m boxing regularly still and know I am improving and my lifting is getting better.

Now I know the old myth that muscle weighs more than fat – but come on…..a pound of feathers weighs the same as a pound of sugar…..a pound is a pound.  What muscle is though is more compact than fat so the same weight can take up a smaller space and well this much is true I am seeing some difference in the space I take up.

I sat in the bath last week and my hips didn’t touch the sides….I know that sounds ridiculous but it’s true.  For the first time in a long time I didn’t act like a natural dam in the bath and water was able to circulate and I was comfortable.

I’m able to share a seat on the bus without pushing myself so far up against the window I should be licking it – same on the tube.

I bought a dress in a  size 16, a slinky pencil skirt dress and it FITS – it did up without any fuss and the lumps and bumps (with good underwear) are not going to look to bad.

So we’re changing it up, after a pep talk from my girls and Fitzpatrick,  and some great advice from PT Gem I have changed things a bit this week.  Upped my water/liquid and protein and reduced my carbs.  No boxing for me this week as Ian is on holiday so instead Fitzpatrick has been putting me through my HIIT paces over in the park .  Ladder drills, squats, kettle bell exercises along with different cone drills have had me working up a sweat.  We’re combining this with the gym and focusing on fat burning routines, yesterday was upper body (my triceps are still burning from the seated EZ bar tricep extensions) and then monster leg day today.  We’re also walking a lot still as it’s now only 36 days until my big walk in the US for  Charity this summer.

I have no idea if this is going to work – but I bloody hope so, it’s hard work and whilst I am enjoying the exercise (mostly, burpees are still a bitch) I need to see the proof on the scales.

Here’s hoping – onwards





Avoiding a meltdown

Yesterday was a bad day – no that’s not quite right.  Yesterday was a tough day.

I knew it was going to be tough – external review of my proposals and plans with only 60% of the information and me not able to defend of explain but there to take the ‘feedback’ for three hours in the helpful way it is meant.

Its rough, I’ve talked about the need for resilience on my other blog here in a similar situation and it was no easier this time.  What was interesting was my response.  I’ve talked about allowing myself time to wallow but this time there is no time – my next deadline is this week, no time to lick my surface wounds.  Also I couldn’t turn to that age old friend gin or chocolate, or crips or pastry (mmmmmmmm cornish pasty).

My reaction was a surprise even to me – instead of melting down I sent Fitzpatrick a text saying that my afternoon was brutal and that I needed to go to the gym and then go and eat red meat somewhere.  Thankfully he agreed.

So here I am today – my arms are sore but my diet is intact (though I pushed the limits of my calorie intake) and I am feeling good.

I’ve changed, the way I cope and act is changing but its good; health and happy.

Working out at home & Overcoming irrational beliefs 

I’ve been working out at home the last two weekends – by choice!  Last week I had a really good session and finished with mountain climbers, bicycle sit ups and planks.  

This week I wasn’t going to work out but then a pep talk from Team Unicorn reminded me that this is up to me and is my choice. 

It’s been a tough week. Out 4 nights in the end (only meant to be for one drink on Friday but that ended up as a few more), eating badly, only one boxing session and no gym as my new tattoo is healing. 

So I got the mat and weights out and went again. The dog (Goose) was less than impressed!

But after a little persuading he got out of the way and I got on with it. At the end I was hot and tired and decided to try something I’ve never been brave enough to try before. You see I decided I was too big, too heavy, too weak, too pathetic; that I’d fall flat on my face, that my arms and shouldersm would buckle, that I’d make a fool of myself. But no one else was here and I’ve been working pretty hard so maybe just try one. 

So I did. I tried my first proper, not on my knees, press up!  And we’ll I actually did 4 in a row. I’m sure the firm was shocking and I didn’t get anywhere near as low as I needed to but I did it!  In fact I did 10 in total. 

It seems ridiculous now. What was I scared of and even if I had faltered who would have judged me other than me (and the dog). So I did it and will do then again and work on my form and the number I can do and eventually these bingo wings will be a thing of history!

For now I’m trying to see if I can see the difference in my face?  The left was a few weeks ago and the right at the beginning of the year. What do you think? Is it just the hair and glasses?



EURO 2016 Sweepstake – stepping into fundraising



As I mentioned previously this summer I am walking 60 miles in 3 days to help the fight against breast cancer and raise money for research and treatment with the Susan G. Komen organisation.  I am walking as part of an awesome team and have committed to raise at least $2,300.

To help me on my way (and to have a bit of fun) I am running a Euro 2016 sweepstake.  It’s £10 in with £5 going to the kitty and the other £5 to the charity.  Prizes for 1st (£60) 2nd (£40) and 3rd (£20).

If you’d like to join in please leave a comment below or on Twitter (@pontecarloblue) or Facebook if you know me IRL and I will add you to the list.  I’ll do the draw when I have 24 names and if we get to 48 will run a second round.

Thanks in advance


PCB (below is todays #pucepic post boxing – I was exhausted but flying high!)